Haunted

This week has been...a mixed bag. I spent a lot of time at work listening to my iPod and I realized that almost every song on my current playlist makes me think of certain people or events, things like that. I'll give you some examples:
Last Kiss by Taylor Swift. So totally a song for my ex Paul. Along with Back to December. I can't listen to the first few notes of these songs without thinking of him.
Airplanes by B.o.B. My bff Dylan. It's even his ringtone in my phone and has been since the song came out.
Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen. Mari. This is our song lol. We would sit at work with the radio going, when we shared the same space, and we would both sing the song, and it seemed to follow us everywhere. Before it became a big song.
Beautiful by Hedley. This actually makes me think of all the ladies in my life. Every woman should know she's beautiful.
Mean by Taylor Swift. Diane. Anyone who is from my WTE group will know who is woman is. I could also say Alice as well and they'd know.
All these songs have had me thinking all week, reliving things, just being lost in my thoughts. It wasn't a very productive week, especially with Taylor being played a lot.

Another reason it was so long; I'm in my two week wait. I ovulated at the end of last weekend. And this time, I'm not only waiting to see if I'm pregnant, I'm also waiting to get tests done. I have to go for a set of blood tests on Tuesday (now that I know I ovulated I have to wait for the second week for my tests). Then again I'll have to wait until 2-5 days after my period to get my other tests. This month includes way more waiting than usual. I hate waiting too, I'm the most impatient person on the planet so these two weeks (and really the whole last 6 months) are one big waiting game of hell.

Mari said her mom saw a clairvoyant a while ago and the woman told her that Mari was supposed to be a twin, a brother, and that he saw there wasn't space so he was waiting. And when she asked for what the woman told her that he is waiting for Mari to have him, he was going to be her son. Mari told me that maybe my baby is just waiting for its time. I appreciated the thought, but at the same time I just wanted to yell , Well now is as good a time as any! It's frustrating.

1, 2, 3. Testing. Testing.

Well it's been a month since I updated and quite a bit has happened in my saga of reproduction. I finally saw my doctor last week and it was a fantastic appointment.

• We are doing testing!! I have to go for two different rounds of blood tests, one will be at least a week after my ovulation, and then the second test will be between 2 and 5 days after I start my period. Both times have a TON of draws, and some of them very specific testing for clotting disorders, progesterone etc. Then at the same time of my second round of blood tests I have to go for an ultrasound.
• We have to see a specialist. My doctor can order tests but she can't prescribe anything reproductive wise that we could possibly need. But we have options. 1. See a gynecologist here in Gatineau, but the wait times is loooong; 2. see a gynecologist at Montfort Hospital in Ottawa, but again, wait time is loooong; 3. Go to the Ottawa Fertility Clinic which isn't covered by our health plan (although we qualify for 50% tax credit) and pay 250$ not including any possible treatment, but the wait time isn't long at all since it is a private clinic; or 4. we can get referred to the McGill Repoductive Center in Montreal at the Royal Victoria Hospital. In Quebec we qualify for 3 rounds of IVF per pregnancy attempt paid for by the province and then 50% tax rebate afterwards. You can also have 6 rounds of IVM or natural cycles covered instead of IVF. The wait time at McGill is very quick as well. We chose to go with McGill for a few reasons. 1. I don't want to wait 6+ months to see a doctor here in Gatineau. 2. If we do end up needing treatment, we can't afford to shell out all that money for the treatment, 3. In case we do need treatment, I would rather to do in Quebec since that is where we live, things will be much less complicated. 4. Hey that means a couple day trips to Montreal and I love Montreal, even if the chances are I,ll only see the inside of the hospital, I don't care. I have to get all  my blood work and ultrasound done before going to the clinic in Montreal, but I am glad we are on the right track.